Lush Cosmetics cameo on Apprentice episode 4

In such dark times as these, we turn to the media for entertainment, and for me that means switching the box to BBC1 at 9pm on Wednesdays.

I'm an unashamed, diehard follower of the Apprentice, even though I claim to despise 'reality TV'. I won't try to defend my passion by claiming the Apprentice promotes business, or introduces a younger audience to entreprenurism, or even has a sensible premise. It's as fake and constructed as Big Brother and the X factor, but there is something alluring about the format.

Every time Surallan walks through the studio 'Boardroom'/toilet door, I'm gripped by what (scripted?) acidic putdown he will utter. I adore Margaret's expressive eyebrows and Nick's incredulous glances. I lap up the Apprentices' (Apprentici?) bullsy self-sales pitch with glee (Noorul's "I look posh and I sound posh" is the best so far, although Kimberly's "rough, tough, cream puff" line is a close second.)

In short, I laugh and snort and make derisive comments about a group of overconfident attention-seekers who only prove that their bullsy self-sales pitches are complete nonsense. I cringe at their mistakes (series 4 kosher chicken corker springs to mind) and feel vindictive glee when they inevitably turn on each other in the Boardroom.

Most tellingly of all, I'm usually on annap's live Guardian blog, reading snarky comments as the action unfolds.

But last night was even better. My other great passion, since my student days in Reading, is Lush. You know, the shops you can smell a mile away because they make their products from fruit and ten tonnes of essential oil?

Imagine my delight when, tasked with creating a new soap, the Apprentici arrive at Poole, Dorset. There was a glimpse of the telling green logo, the familiar font on essential oil bottles, and then to top it all the lovely Simon Constantine turned up. I was squeeing like a H/H shipper.

The cedarwood/sandalwood debacle was so bad Nick had to warn them before the boardroom showdown: against the rules but only humane in the circumstances. Team leader Paula and crony Yasmina mistook 3% for 3 grams, and thought £700-worth of sandalwood oil would only cost a fiver. Mistake that cost them the task. But what struck me was not the money - an abstract figure - but the difference in volume. Okay, they thought they were paying for 3 grams, fair enough. But shouldn't something have clicked when they poured a huge tub of oil into the mix? How much did they think 3 grams WAS?

Lush obviously cashed in to the exposure, sending out a special Apprentice-themed email and splashing it all over their website.

What I particularly like is the promotion of -you guessed it- Sandalwood oil and Honey Waffle soap - yes Ignite, you can make successful soap with a honeycomb centre!